Here is an outline of how to be a 30-something woman in the 21st Century. Times have changed, though attitudes tend to change at a slower pace. We do not need to take advice from traditions that are no longer realistic or ideal for this new generation of women.
It’s okay to be single as a 30-something woman in the 21st century
As a modern woman, your best decade is finally here. Nearly half of Americans (48%) are single today. Get a bunch of friends, reconnect with families and live your independent life to the fullest.
The chart on the left shows that people are having children much later now, women having children over the age of 40 is on the rise. Doctors still recommend that you try to have a child before the age of 34 to minimize health risks, but many doctors argue that having children before the age of 38 is considered achievable given proper monitoring and care.
Try online dating. 5% of Americans married today found their partner via an online dating site. Some parts of our society still think it is a little embarrassing to be dating online, but remember, just a few decades ago, some also find it unacceptable to be dating someone of a difference race. Attitudes change slower than reality. Don’t let opinions keep you from having fun.
If you are tired of dating, then have fun alone. Travel alone. See a movie alone. Do all the things you want to do alone because being alone should not stop you from living life.
Live somewhere close to work and make your place a home
There is nothing more valuable than time, and nothing better than coming home. Save more money by not drinking alcohol, and instead, run outside, cook and take the public transportation. Save money by going vintage.
Act like the top 1% and put all your savings into index funds
There is no excuse not to save money just because you are still single, especially for women and minorities. You do not need to impress anyone just because you are still single. Save 50% of your income into an index fund that tracks either the Total U.S. Stock Mark Index Fund or the U.S. S&P 500 Index Fund.
Get your student loans refinanced at a lower rate. If the post-refinanced rate is still higher than 4%, then pay down your loans as aggressively as possible. You should never wait to find a partner before you plan your retirement.
Stop trying to have it all.
A lot of time is wasted by 30-somethings worrying about being able to do everything and be everything to everyone. Focus on one objective at a time; it is okay to deprioritize other priorities for later.
Pick good people to surround you. Be kind to others but also set strict boundaries. Be kind to yourself, and forgive yourself. Change your inner dialogue and always look forward and aim high.
Take care of your health
Life’s challenges require you to stay mentally stable, emotionally healthy and physically fit. Excessive drinking is going to come back and haunt you. Similarly, staying up late just because you are anxious, lonely or bored will drag you down. Recognize the signs of alcoholism and depression. Getting help is a sign of bravery, not weakness.
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is some regular talk therapy. One of the most common traits of successful people is rising at 5 am and going to sleep undistracted by electronics.
If you are tired all the time, your life is probably not balanced. You need to start running and working out on a daily basis, and maybe even doing some regular meditation. Cut out the bad food. Go to sleep at 10 am. Wake up at 6 am.
Know what you want
Know what you do not want in a career, in a man, and in your life. Part of figuring out who you are is to open up your heart: take risks and be vulnerable. You are never going to find out if you want this unless you try it out first. Don’t do anything out of fear, but don’t stop doing things out of fear either.